6 Lessons Your Breakup Can Teach You About Self-Worth
“Alexa, please play my sad girl breakup playlist to help me drown out the sound of my tears.”
Listen, we’ve all been there. (No judgement.)
Whether it’s the end of a long-term relationship or something that barely got off the ground, they can leave you feeling lost and questioning your self-worth.
It’s important to remember, though, that while the pain is real, so is the opportunity for growth.
A breakup can be a powerful teacher, offering insights about yourself, your boundaries, and what you truly deserve. If you take the time to reflect, you might find that it’s not just your heart that heals—it’s your sense of self-worth, too. Here are six lessons to take with you on your journey to healing and self-discovery.
1. You deserve healthy boundaries.
One of the most important lessons a breakup can teach you is the significance of setting and respecting boundaries. Reflecting on past relationships often reveals moments where your boundaries were crossed or where you ignored red flags. This is your chance to redefine what is acceptable and what isn’t. Healthy boundaries ensure you maintain your identity and self-respect in future relationships.
“Boundaries are not about keeping people out; they’re about protecting what matters most to you,” says Brianna McCabe, author of The Red Flags I’ve (Repeatedly) Ignored. Take this time to identify what boundaries you’ll uphold moving forward and commit to enforcing them.
2. You are worth more than bare minimum effort.
Breakups can highlight instances where you settled for less than you deserved. Whether it was in the form of sporadic effort, lack of emotional availability, or feeling undervalued, these moments serve as a wake-up call. Your worth isn’t defined by someone else’s inability to meet your needs. Moving forward, commit to seeking relationships where effort is consistent and mutual.
3. Your happiness should never be conditional.
In a healthy relationship, your happiness shouldn’t hinge on someone else’s actions. A breakup can reveal areas where you relied too heavily on your partner to feel validated or fulfilled. Use this time to focus on cultivating your own happiness—through hobbies, friendships, and self-care. When you learn to generate joy from within, you become less dependent on external sources for validation.
4. Not everyone is meant to stay forever.
It’s natural to feel sadness or even betrayal when a relationship ends, but a breakup is often a reminder that some people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lesson. Accepting that not everyone is meant to stay forever can be liberating. It allows you to let go with grace and appreciate the growth you’ve experienced, even if the relationship didn’t last.
5. Self-love isn’t selfish.
A breakup often forces you to turn inward and prioritize yourself in ways you may have neglected while in a relationship. This isn’t selfish… it’s necessary. Whether it’s taking time to heal, rediscovering passions, or simply learning to enjoy your own company, self-love is a cornerstone of self-worth.
As McCabe shares, “The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.”
6. You have the strength to start over.
Endings can feel devastating, but they’re also beginnings in disguise. A breakup teaches you that even when faced with heartbreak, you have the strength to rebuild. This resilience is a testament to your inner worth and serves as a reminder that you can overcome challenges in every area of your life.
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT dating healthier and cultivating self-worth, GRAB A COPY OF BRIANNA MCCABE’S SELF-HELP DATING BOOK, THE RED FLAGS I'VE (REPEATEDLY) IGNORED.