These Four Possible Skeletons in Your Closet Could be Haunting Your Dating Life

Everybody has skeletons in their closet, from hidden secrets to past mistakes.

Leaving them unaddressed, though, can turn into red flags that negatively impact our relationships.

Self-help dating author Brianna McCabe outlines four possible skeletons that could be haunting your dating life and shares why they could have consequences, while also providing insight into when these details should be shared with a potential partner.

Skeleton #1: Financial Debt

Significant debt affects long-term planning and financial stability — and is typically indicative of financial irresponsibility. While you should wait until there’s enough trust established prior to disclosing information about an unhealthy financial state, waiting too long could derail someone’s goals and future plans. In terms of timing, this should be revealed before talks of moving in together, combining finances, or long-term commitment occur.

Skeleton #2: Past Relationship Trauma

Hidden or unresolved trauma stemming from past relationships — in the form of emotional baggage — can lead to future issues in terms of trust, intimacy, communication, and conflict resolution. While you should spare getting deep into the details, high-level overviews of past experiences may help a new partner better understand your triggers. These discussions should occur once a relationship starts to get more serious.

Skeleton #3: Substance Use

Whether it’s for the sake of “having fun” or in the form of active addiction, substance use can impact dating in several ways. This could be general misalignment of personal values tied to (in)appropriate frequency, choice of substances, or choosing not to be around them at all. It can be a turn-off to manage someone’s erratic behavior or have to become a caregiver while they are under the influence. These values should be disclosed early on to avoid a clash of values and lifestyle choices.

Skeleton #4: Sexual Health Status

Keeping your sexual health status a secret before engaging in sexual activity with a partner violates trust and potentially risks their health. Without their informed consent, this is a critical (and illegal) hidden issue. To ensure their overall health and safety, this conversation — although challenging for some — must happen before any sexual intimacy begins.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT RED FLAGS, GRAB A COPY OF BRIANNA MCCABE’S SELF-HELP DATING BOOK, THE RED FLAGS I'VE (REPEATEDLY) IGNORED.