Quiz: How Much of a Red Flag are you?

Curious to see how much of a red flag you are? Take this quiz developed Brianna McCabe, author of The Red Flags I’ve (Repeatedly) Ignored. All you have to do is add up your total number of points and then scroll below to see where you rank based on that calculation.

• You still stalk an ex

• You’ve snooped through a phone

• You regularly forget to respond to texts or calls

• You’re always late

• You rarely initiate conversations or plans

• You lack any hobbies or interests outside of work

• You’re indecisive

• You tend to be possessive in relationships

• You often refuse to compromise

• You constantly complain, but fail to take action

• You’re quick to point problems out in others, but not in yourself

• You’re financially irresponsible

• You ghost others

• You get out of uncomfortable conversations by crying or yelling

• You chronically lie

• You’ve been in a relationship(s) where you’ve isolated yourself from loved ones

• You’ve stayed in a relationship(s) that was dangerous

• You lack deal breakers and/or don’t uphold them

0-6 Points: Barely a red flag

It’s important to remember that everyone, everywhere has red flags, as nobody is perfect — and it also depends on who you ask. (After all, red flags are subjective and based on a person’s values, goals, and belief systems.)

That said, your score is a positive sign that you're self-aware and committed to personal growth. While this suggests you're on a healthy path, readiness to date also depends on your emotional availability and ability to contribute to a healthy relationship. As always, be honest with yourself about these factors before starting to date.

7-13 Points: A bit of a red flag

Scoring as a little bit of a red flag indicates that there are some signs of unhealthy behaviors in your dating patterns, but it’s important that you don’t feel disheartened or even ashamed. This score highlights areas where growth and self-improvement are possible. To show up better for yourself and others, consider focusing on improving communication skills, practicing self-awareness, and addressing any recurring issues. Small changes can lead to significant improvements in your relationships.

14-19 Points: A major red flag

A major red flag score suggests that your current behaviors in dating might be causing significant damage to another person and that it may be wise to take a step back from dating. Use this as an opportunity to pause, reflect deeply, and embark on a healing journey to explore and understand the root causes of your behaviors. Investing time in mindfulness techniques and/or even professional help can provide the foundation for healthier future relationships.

>20 Points: An unhinged red flag

Scoring as an unhinged red flag means that there are serious warning signs about your readiness for a relationship. It indicates that you should not be dating at this time, as your current behaviors and patterns could be harmful both to yourself and to potential partners. Prioritizing significant self-reflection, inner work, and personal development is crucial before considering dating again, ensuring you are prepared to present your best self in future relationships.

Sometimes we are the red flag because we might project our insecurities, struggle with emotional regulation, consistently prioritize others’ needs over our own, struggle with unresolved issues that affect our behavior, and more. To start your personal growth journey and show up better in a relationship, my book can serve as a valuable tool.

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT RED FLAGS, GRAB A COPY OF BRIANNA MCCABE’S SELF-HELP DATING BOOK, THE RED FLAGS I'VE (REPEATEDLY) IGNORED.